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Bird Nesting: 3 Tips To Make Co-Parenting Work After Divorce


Dividing up parental responsibility and parenting time with children in any separation is a challenge. Both spouses expectedly want to maximize time spent with their children and as such, find it difficult to work together. However, successful co-parenting, known these days as “Bird Nesting”, is essential for the well-being of your children, meaning you must find a way to make it work.

It may seem impossible to maintain a “good” relationship with your former spouse depending on your past relationship and the nature of your divorce in DuPage, Will, Kendall, or Kane County. Below, we share three tips to help you so that when it comes to following your Allocation Of Parental Responsibility Judgment and working through the minor issues that will arise, you aren’t left fighting with your ex-spouse at every turn.

  1. Take Steps to Avoid Conflict

Some conflict is unavoidable and is to be expected. However, many former spouses will find almost every opportunity to fight, putting stress on children who will feel that they’re in the middle of the situation.

Your children will thrive with both you and your ex-spouse if you keep conflict to a minimum. Typically, this is as simple as strictly following your Allocation Judgment regarding pick-up and drop-off times and not speaking badly about the children’s other parent in front of them.

Remember: The focus on any case is always on the best interests of the child. It’s up to you to uphold the Court’s standard following your separation and keep your home and relationships as conflict-free as possible.

  1. Maintain Open Communication

In order to keep co-parenting arrangements civil and perhaps even positive, you need to communicate with your former spouse. If your relationship is strained, you may want to use a program such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard. These are programs used in many cases when spouses can no longer speak on good terms to facilitate a more positive, open form of communication.

In terms of co-parenting, you need to regularly communicate about topics such as school, health, extracurricular events, and more. You should take care to remove the emotion from these conversations as doing so will only complicate co-parenting arrangements.

  1. Keep Your Children as the Focus

It’s easy to fight with your former spouse, especially when you aren’t on the best terms. However, by putting all the focus on your children and not focusing on any of the negative emotions lingering from the marriage breakdown itself, you can do your best to move on.

Channel your energy into your children, their activities, their interests, and more. Always keep in mind that separation is more challenging on children than it is on you as an adult, and it will help you maintain a positive environment.

If You’re Struggling to Co-Parent, Lawrence R. Surinak Ltd. Can Help

Whether your separation is complete and you’re having a difficult time bird nesting because your spouse isn’t complying with the Allocation Judgment or have concerns about co-parenting as part of your potential divorce, Lawrence R. Surinak Ltd. can help.

We’ve practiced family law for over 35 years and as your Naperville attorney, we’re confident that we can ease your concerns and negotiate a settlement that is best for both you and your children. To learn more or take advantage of your free 30-minute consultation, contact us at 630-470-9990 or fill in our simple online form.

We look forward to your call or email!

Concentrated on Family Law

Lawrence R. Surinak Ltd. is a law firm concentrating solely on family law and has served clients in DuPage, Will, Kane, and Kendall counties for over 35 years.

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About Attorney Lawrence R. Surinak Ltd.

Lawrence R. Surinak Ltd. is a law firm concentrating solely on family law and has served clients in DuPage, Will, Kane, and Kendall counties for over 35 years.

We continue to work with clients in Naperville, Wheaton, Lisle, Oswego, Downers Grove, and the surrounding areas to provide one-on-one support and attention that will help you through this difficult time.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us at any time. We look forward to offering our expertise and support to you throughout your case and after.